We should market to more patient people because I'm worried that means all our current customers are dead.

We literally continue this week with Great Moments in Recent Metaphor History III.  Perhaps in this case the implication is the customer has time to read a book.

Snarky: Every moment we're down is a literal eternity to our customers.
Title: We should market to more patient people because I'm worried that means all our current customers are dead.

An extension of the eat-your-own-dogfood metaphor?

Snarky: I’ve asked them to turn the cubes 90 degrees in case it increases productivity.
Title: An extension of the eat-your-own-dogfood metaphor?

Eating Your Own Dogfood:
"The editor of IEEE Software recounts that in the 1970s television advertisements for Alpo dog food, Lorne Greene pointed out that he fed Alpo to his own dogs. Another possible origin is the president of Kal Kan Pet Food, who was said to eat a can of his dog food at shareholders' meetings.

In 1988, Microsoft manager Paul Maritz sent Brian Valentine, test manager for Microsoft LAN Manager, an email titled "Eating our own Dogfood", challenging him to increase internal usage of the company's product. From there, the usage of the term spread through the company"

Dogs align their bodies along a North-South axis when they poop:
"Ever wonder why dogs need to get themselves into just the right position to do their business? As it turns out, dogs align their body axis according to Earth's magnetic field when they squat to poop—a behavior that changes when the magnetic field is unstable. But why do they do it?"

Good metaphor/bad metaphor

Yes.  I have heard both these metaphors used.  I can't even remember the specifics about what we were discussing when it came to the bad metaphor, it took me so far afield in my head after it was uttered aloud in a meeting.  I knew what was meant, but the image of all those babies rolling into the ocean until it literally seethed with them...horrifying.  I don't want to be on that project, it sounds like a death march.  For babies.

Title: Good metaphor/bad metaphor

Snarky: When it comes to that project, we're just whistling past the graveyard.  Keep in mind, like any project, the baby may roll over, but when it does, we should be careful not to let it boil the ocean.