We're up the creek without a boat.

Snarky: I've got the paddle.  Let's visit some downstream services.
Title: We're up the creek without a boat.

At what point do you decide we need a new roof?

I thought about titling this one something related to how many little holes fit in a great big hole, but I like this better.

Great Moments in Recent Metaphor History II
Snarky: Each of those bugs is a hole in our roof. No matter how big they are.  If we get enough of them then it's not a roof anymore.  We'll get wet.
Title: At what point do you decide we need a new roof?

Can we just decide it's death by two-thousand cuts?

I apologize for bad grammar.  You only hyphenate between 21 and 99, not lesser numbers, and even not when modifying thousand.  I momentarily lapsed when I thought it was a compound adjective modifying cuts, but that's not valid because you can treat two thousand like one word.  That's your English lesson for today.

This will be the first in a short series commemorating some recent metaphors I've been subjected to in meetings and in person.  They have been used.  I hope that makes them all the sweeter.

Great Moments in Recent Metaphor History I
Snarky: We're suffering death by a thousand cuts and we're on cut 999.
Title: Can we just decide it's death by two-thousand cuts?

Can we just go back to giving me a 3 out of 5?

I was in a meeting where someone once said, "We need to fish or cut bait."  Obviously.  But what's the point of stating it?  At the time, it seemed that were in the situation where we were renting the boat, finding the guide, comparing fish finders, and actually learning what a fish was in the first place.  No point in fishing or cutting bait if you don't even know what a fish is, is there?

As for shaking the trees.  I only do that after I drink the kool aid.

My favorite phrase used in a meeting?  Softly softly catchee monkey.  I had to look that one up, and it didn't bother me a bit because it was funny and educational.  Someone in the UK probably has a stick figure comic mocking it the same way I do fish or cut bait, but on this side of the pond hearing it is a rarity.

Snarky: Which feedback would you prefer on your annual review?  That you need to fish or cut bait?  Or that you need to shake the trees?
Title: Can we just go back to giving me a 3 out of 5?