In keeping with the holiday jokes, I thought I'd join the fray, although I might be stepping in it a bit by calling out features of programming languages. Now before all you programming language nerds start flaming me, I realize that even though Python doesn't have the new keyword, it does actually dynamically allocate memory which is generally why the abstraction exists, or at least why it used to. I suppose I could have replaced "Python" with "functional", but I didn't. Sue me.
Title: They never get anything new().